Complaint filed with HR; Juan (no last name) Hires Himself

Juan (no last name) has hired himself as Staff Administrator.

Juan

Upon his hiring, Juan immediately filed two complaints with HR.

Complaint ID: 001
Complainer: Juan (no last name)
Complaint: Stolen Ham Sandwich
Filed Against: Brian Gregory
Evidence: Piece of ham hanging from left side of Gregory's mouth
Comments: Name was written clearly on lunch bag.

Staff Decision: While Brian Gregory would normally handle a complaint like this, he cannot handle a complaint filed against himself. As founder of the company, Capolo made the ruling in this case.

NOT GUILTY.

Punishment: Juan - 20 lashes to backside.


Complaint ID: 002
Complainer: Juan (no last name)
Complaint: Odor
Filed Against: Gene the Rhino
Evidence: While sitting at the desk next to Gene, Juan complains of foul Rhino odor emanating towards his desk.Juan lost his left arm in the struggle.
Comments: Gene is in fact a rhinoceros.

Staff Decision: Gregory rules in favor of Gene, stating that Gene is controlling his odor to a reasonable level based on the fact that he is a rhino.

NOT GUILTY. 

Punishment: Juan - hit five (5) times over head with hammer, plus seven (7) days administrative leave.

- Horatio

**UPDATE** 

Juan has promoted himself to head of sales.